Dear weird book,
by uzumaki rakku
Summary: ."Dear weird book, Hi! Sorry about the name, can't think of a good one for you yet." Sandaime gives a young Naruto a diary. Wonder what he'll do with it? Life has just gotten a hell of a lot more interesting. Pairings, if any, are yet undecided. Ch 5 up!
1. Dear weird book

**Disclaimer:  
I own: this fic. I do not own: Naruto.**

**AN: This is an idea I suddenly had. I hope it turns out well (:**

**Sumary:  
**_**"Dear weird book, Hi! Sorry about the name, can't think of a good one for you yet." The Sandaime gives a young Naruto a diary. Wonder what he's going to do with it? Life has just gotten a lot more interesting. Pairings, if any, are yet undecided.**_

**Basically, this is a story made up of diary entries. It tells the story of Naruto's life from his very own point of view. I hope he's not very OOC, but Naruto is not stupid, just deprived of a proper education - do you think any teacher would bother to even teach him to read? He's my favourite character, so of course this fic is about him.**

**So... read and review!**

**Edit: changed Naruto's age from eight to six. Should be posting the second chapter soon.**

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Dear weird book,

Hi! Sorry about the name, can't think of a good one for you yet. Hokage-ojisan said it's a diary. He said I can write stuff in it, like I'm writing a letter to someone. I don't see the point though. Why write stuff to someone (or something?) that's non-existent? Still, he said it's like having a person to talk to all the time, just that the person never replies. Well since almost everyone ignores me all the time it's great I can write to you! But I don't wanna call you a diary. That's waaaaaaaaaay too boring. Though I still can't think of what to call you! Ugh!

Anyway! I guess I should introduce myself? I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'm six and my birthday's on October 10th. I like ramen, the people at Ichiraku, and Hokage-ojisan I hate the villagers 'cause they hate me, and I also hate how loooooooooooooong the instant ramen takes to cook. I love pranks! I'm a master prankster, and I usually only prank people who deserve it, but it is so fun to prank Hokage-ojisan too!! I think he's a closet perv or something. Maybe I should us that to my advantage and prank him! Like, paste pictures of lots of women in his office or something. But it's too risky... there are TONS of ninja guarding the Hokage tower, especially Anbu. They'll probably stop me... damn. (Though I did manage to trick them a few times, hahahaha... they don't know that I know that they're there! But I know that they don't know that I know that they're there!)

Ehh where was I?

...

OH! Of course! Pranking Hokage-jiji! Maybe I can create a prank jutsu, then no one'd know what I'm gonna do until it's too late... muahahaha...

[After 25 lines of rambling]

So... uhm... oh ya! I was introducing myself... I don't really have a dream for the future yet... if I live that long. (morbid?) But I really want everyone to stop looking down on me and ignoring me. Whatever I become in the future, I want people to acknowledge me! 'Cause living isn't really that great when no one cares you actually exist. Though it's kinda hard when my whole class is 2 years older than me...

I really don't know what to write now, so I'll write again tomorrow! Bye!

(err how do I sign off?!?)  
Uzumaki Naruto

P.S. here's a picture of me! Aren't the whisker marks cool? Nobody seems to think so, though...

I'm running out of clothes! They're either too small or in really bad shape... sad... I liked the shirts with spirals the most. I love spirals!

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**So how is it? He does seem a bit hyper though... Review please! Just click that nice button down there (:**


	2. Of Ranting and Randomness

**AN: I'm back! Sorry I took so long, the formatting keeps getting screwed. Ugh.**

**Anyway, read, enjoy, and REVIEW x)**

**Sumary:  
_"Dear weird book, Hi! Sorry about the name, can't think of a good one for you yet." The Sandaime gives a young Naruto a diary. Wonder what he's going to do with it? Life has just gotten a lot more interesting. Pairings, if any, are yet undecided._**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Hey book,

Been a while since I wrote in here. Ran into a few... accidents recently, it's nearing October 10th.

Not much new stuff at the Academy, the sensei's a sabotaging bastard as usual. I slipped out during lunch break, there's really no point staying when there's nothing I can benefit from in there. I guess it's a good thing I skipped class, 'cause I saw a genin team training. They were working on chakra control exercises, I think. I spent the whole afternoon observing their training, definitely learnt a lot of useful stuff. I need to know more about chakra before I try the tree-walking exercise, though. I don't think the Academy will teach much at the moment, and I'm really sick of being dead-last when it's not my fault...

This is pathetic. I'm the dead-last when they teach useless stuff (who needs to know the condition of soil in Water country twenty years ago? -.-), I wonder how I will fare when I actually start learning real ninja techniques and stuff. Kuso.

It's decided then, I'm going to start "borrowing" scrolls from the shinobi library. Must be careful, though... I can only imagine the consequences if I get caught. I bet the librarian will start screeching stuff about the demon brat stealing jutsu to kill everyone... annoying banshee. Who the hell will be stupid enough to try taking on a whole village of ninja? (except Kyuubi, but demons don't count)

...

I just don't understand why everyone treats me like this! What the hell did I ever do to them?! Their eyes... such cold eyes... eyes filled with hate... hate directed at me. ME! ALWAYS ME! ONLY _ME_! I can tell some of them do not even understand _why_ they hate, it is simply what others do, what they are used to doing. And I'm so tired of being hated for just being alive! Why is always me... only me... Was I born to be a monster that does not deserved to be loved? Why? It's not fair...

I can't cry. I can't. If I cry, it'll just mean that _they_ won. That _they_ have succeeded in not only screwing up my life, but my own mind, my will to live. I don't want to just _exist_. To look without seeing, to listen without hearing, to touch without feeling, to eat without tasting, to breathe without smelling the sweet scent of flowers that grow in the most unexpected places... I want to _live_. To feel that my life is important to others, to myself. To know that my existence is not just something others want to erase. To wake up each and every day knowing that no matter how screwed things are, life is still beautiful. To always believe that whatever happens, everything will be fine in the end, for if I have gotten this far, I can always go further, and all that matters is that I don't give up.

So I will live. I'll never give up. I'll never allow a bunch of fools to make **my** life a misery. I will live, and live happily, even if it's just to spite those bastards who wish I am dead. No one has the right to judge another without getting to know them, no one has the right to make another person's life a misery. No one. I do not know why so much hate is directed at me, but for now, I don't freaking care. No matter how screwed life is, the only thing that matters is that I live my life the way _I_ want to. So it doesn't matter if I am still the dead-last, still beaten and left to die on my birthday, still despised and hated by the villagers, because Uzumaki Naruto will not give up, and Uzumaki Naruto never goes back on his words.

So there.

And now I shall plan my greatest prank to date: Painting the Hokage tower orange. Muahahahahahahaha......

Bye!

_The greatest prankster of all time,  
Uzumaki Naruto_

P.S. Did I seem a bit too hyper previously? I am only that hyper _sometimes_... I think? Er...

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**So was it okay? Was the mood shift too drastic? But that's the way Naruto is... Is he too OOC? Ah well. Reviews will be muchly appreciated xD and I will be muchly grateful (:**

**POLL!!!**

**POLL #1:  
Who should know about what Naruto is learning? Keep in mind that I'm trying to make Naruto really independent. So having an adult to depend on is not exactly independence... The person can only find out about what Naruto's learning after a few years if you want (: So... who?**

**1. Sandaime  
2. Kakashi (AND TRAINS HIM!!! YAY!!! or not, depends on what you vote for! [SO PLEASE VOTE xD])  
3. Iruka (when he starts teaching Naruto)  
4. Someone who's around the same age as Naruto (aka most likely one of the Konoha 12. No OCs.)  
5. Some other person (please state who~)**

**I'm leaning towards choosing no one, or maybe Kakashi as he's an ANBU so of course he'd notice stuff. And since he's an ANBU he can't exactly stay around to look after Naruto, so he's still quite independent. He can also teach Naruto some stuff once in a while.**

**Another good choice would be Sandaime. He's the Hokage, and he has this crystal ball which he can use to check on Naruto, thus it's pretty likely he'll find out. Besides, he can supply Naruto with the required equipment (such as weapons, scrolls, etc.). But that's also a problem - what's the point of going to all the trouble of "borrowing" stuff if Naruto can just get it easily? Hmm. What do you think? You can vote for more than one option in this poll (eg. 1 and 2)**

**---**

**Poll #2:  
What should happen to Minato? (in case you don't know, he's the Yondaime Hokage, and Naruto's dad *-*) As you can see, he's obviously going to be included in this fic somehow but I have yet to decide on whether he is dead or alive... So... should Minato**

**1. Stay dead  
2. Come back to life (please choose when~)  
3. Be alive all this time, but left due to whatever reason (don't particularly like this idea, since it would mean he ABANDONED Naruto D: )  
4. Be a ghost (most probably only Naruto will be able to see him. Otherwise that'd be weird ._.)  
5. Come back to life TEMPORARILY or something like that (like in the manga... when Naruto was going to pull off the seal)**

**What do you think? I really want Minato ALIVE... hmm... but there's the Naruto being independent thing again. That's why I'm leaning toward 2 or 5, or even 4.**

**You can also vote for more than one of these options in this poll (eg. 4, then 2)**


	3. Pink or Orange Hair?

**Sumary:  
_"Dear weird book, Hi! Sorry about the name, can't think of a good one for you yet." The Sandaime gives a young Naruto a diary. Wonder what he's going to do with it? Life has just gotten a lot more interesting. Pairings, if any, are yet undecided._**

**A/N: Finally this is up! Phew. Made some minor edits to each chapter. Doesn't affect plot or anything, just minor edits to make it better. (:**

**LOOK HERE!!! IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT!  
What used to be Chapter 3 is now _Chapter 4_. And this is a new chapter 3. So please read and review! I was really amazed by how fast everyone reviewed my author's note x), please review the reposted chapters 3 and 4 as well! THANK YOU! YOU PEOPLE ARE THE BEST!**

**Special note to BluuInkblot, who was the first to review: Thank you so much! ^^ cookies! and bagels xD**

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_Happy birthday to me,  
Happy birthday to me,  
Happy birthday to me,  
Happy birthday to me._

Hi (weird) book!

Today is weird. It started off really, _really_ boring. Woke up, ate breakfast (threw out the spoilt milk, really can't bear with it anymore), blahblah, the usual routine. Then I saw the calendar. October. Tenth.

My birthday.

And the day of the Kyuubi festival.

I don't like having to admit this, but the truth doesn't change, so: I panicked. That was weird - I've been preparing myself for this day, and with all the stuff going on recently nothing should be able to surprise me much. Oh well. Last year I was _wallowing_ in _misery_ (oh the melodrama~) and that was just... stupid. I mean, there's no reason to make yourself miserable, and sulk and cry about everything like the star of The Excellent and Most Lamentable and Tragic Life of... someone. (How coherent. Oh look! My vocabulary expanded!) I shall try again. The Excellent and Most Lamentable and Tragic Life of... an emo. Never mind...

Still, isn't it better to be optimistic (another big word! ._.)? My life is my own and letting others affect how I live and how I feel is not fair to myself. Nor is it beneficial (I've been reading too much lately...) either. It distracts me from my goal - survival. No, I want more than just mere survival.

Anyway, I digress.

Today actually isn't that bad, you know. I'm spending the whole day with Hokage-jiji! You see, while I was panicking, and preparing to make a run for it to find a good place to hide, Inu-san jumped through the window. He totally freaked me out. I think I yelled something like, "What the HELL? Freaking Inu-san and his freaking obsession with windows..." because I _swear_ Inu-san always enters and exits a room via window. He freaked me out so much that I almost set off some of my impromptu traps on him. Good thing I didn't, or else I would be chased around by an irate (oh look new vocab again!) orange-haired Anbu. Oops.

So, after freaking out at Inu-san, almost painting him orange, and grumbling about crazy Anbu, Inu-san finally told me that Hokage-jiji wants me to spend the day with him, in the Hokage tower. Somehow he decided I would be safer with him. _I wonder why..._ And I wonder if sarcasm suits me. Hmm. I shall _ponder_ that matter (later).

Inu-san's disappeared, seems like he has other stuff to do. Sad. He's good company, and he's really nice too. He gave me a present! He actually noticed that my shirts are getting kind of frayed, and he got me a black shirt and a white shirt, each having an orange spiral. That's so cool. Jiji gave me a jacket-of-sorts. It's really comfortable, especially as the colder season is coming soon...

Despite all the cool presents, I'm extremely bored now. I've been in and out of the Hokage Tower - which is a really cool place! - enough times to know it inside out (Yep, even most of the hidden passages. What? A prankster's gotta know his way around.) and I also know what happens everyday (Jiji does paperwork, ninjas walk in, ninja take missions, ninja walk out, ninja return from missions, Jiji grumbles about paperwork, Jiji gets more paperwork, etcetc.). So there's really not much to look at, or occupy myself with. Then after a lot of fidgeting from yours truly, he finally found me something to do. Yay!

And it turns out to be... a book. Sigh. It's just some random boring-as-hell book - maybe he wants to bore me so much I'll fall asleep? I think I'll ignore the weird book and write... in another weird book. Oh joy. Wow, the irony of life. Looks like sarcasm doesn't really suit me. Oh well, I'll practise lots! Then I'll be able to use such strong irony that everyone else will go "_Ow..._"

...There is really nothing to do! And thus I have nothing to write about. Argh, forget it. I'll go get a snack and maybe flip through the book or something. If I fall asleep the maybe time will pass faster...

Boreder than bored,  
Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Hello again!

No time to write much – I'm reading the weird book which actually turns out to be quite awesome! It's called The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja. The title is a little weird though...

I thought Hokage-jiji was gave me some lame history book but this book is _damn_ cool. And the main character kicks some serious ass.

I have to go! Write later!  
Uzumaki Naruto.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**INU-SAN!!!!!! x) Kakashi! Cute! Cute! Cute! -ahem- Well? More of everyone's favourite Anbu in this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Erm. The Excellent and Most Lamentable and Tragic Life thingy is a random thing. If it sounds lame, please tell me. I just wanted to create the sarcastic melodrama effect. I need practice, and so does Naruto. Sarcasm is great but it's not easy to use well. Anyway...**

**POLL!!! ^^**

**POLL #1:  
Who should know about what Naruto is learning? Keep in mind that I'm trying to make Naruto really independent. So having an adult to depend on is not exactly independence... The person can only find out about what Naruto's learning after a few years if you want (: So... who?**

**1. Sandaime  
2. Kakashi (AND TRAINS HIM!!! YAY!!! or not, depends on what you vote for! [SO PLEASE VOTE xD])  
3. Iruka (when he starts teaching Naruto)  
4. Someone who's around the same age as Naruto (aka most likely one of the Konoha 12. No OCs.)  
5. Some other person (please state who~)**

**I'm leaning towards choosing no one, or maybe Kakashi as he's an ANBU so of course he'd notice stuff. And since he's an ANBU he can't exactly stay around to look after Naruto, so he (as in Naruto!) is still quite independent. He can also teach Naruto some stuff once in a while.**

**Another good choice would be Sandaime. He's the Hokage, and he has this crystal ball which he can use to check on Naruto, thus it's pretty likely he'll find out. Besides, he can supply Naruto with the required equipment (such as weapons, scrolls, etc.). But that's also a problem - what's the point of going to all the trouble of "borrowing" stuff if Naruto can just get it easily? Hmm. What do you think? You can vote for more than one option in this poll (eg. 1 and 2)**

**---**

**Poll #2:  
What should happen to Minato? (in case you don't know, he's the Yondaime Hokage, and Naruto's dad *-*) As you can see, he's obviously going to be included in this fic somehow but I have yet to decide on whether he is dead or alive... So... should Minato**

**1. Stay dead  
2. Come back to life (please choose when~)  
3. Be alive all this time, but left due to whatever reason (don't particularly like this idea, since it would mean he ABANDONED Naruto D: )  
4. Be a ghost (most probably only Naruto will be able to see him. Otherwise that'd be weird ._.)  
5. Come back to life TEMPORARILY or something like that (like in the manga... when Naruto was going to pull off the seal)**

**What do you think? I really want Minato ALIVE... hmm... but there's the Naruto being independent thing again. That's why I'm leaning toward 2 or 5, or even 4.**

**You can also vote for more than one of these options in this poll (eg. 4, then 2)**

**--**

**Review! And vote if you haven't already! THANK YOU~! ^^**

**Please note that this is a NEW chapter 3! (refer to top A/N)  
I know I sound repetitive but a lot of people are confused by my most recent chapters D:**


	4. Of Boredom and Breezes!

**Sumary:  
**_**"Dear weird book, Hi! Sorry about the name, can't think of a good one for you yet." The Sandaime gives a young Naruto a diary. Wonder what he's going to do with it? Life has just gotten a lot more interesting. Pairings, if any, are yet undecided.**_

**AN: FINALLY! IT IS PUBLISHED! OMG so sorry for the long wait! I had exams... Anyway! Fourth chapter of Dear Weird Book (: **

**As I forgot to do a chapter on Naruto's birthday, I had to shift this to chapter four and edit it (this was originally chapter three). Then I had to do a new chapter 3 on what happened on October tenth. Because in the 2nd chapter I mentioned that it was nearing October tenth, so the third chapter should actually about Naruto's birthday, not after it. Sigh. I also totally reworked this chapter! Hopefully it's nicer now. Anyway! I've added a POLL at the bottom of this chapter, please vote! Thank you!**

**I wasn't all that happy with some parts of the 2nd chapter, maybe he was a bit too OOC. Ah well. Still, it was not too bad (:**

**I guess I'm rather a perfectionist when it comes to fanfics, so I like to make sure a chapter is as nice as possible before I publish. And I keep getting distracted by really interesting ideas for new fics, so... *sheepish***

**ARGH! French exam on Friday, yet I'm here typing fics... I am such a bad student *nods***

**Again, really sorry for the long wait! But during that time I managed to create a timeline/plan of sorts for this fic, so future chapters will be easier to do (: ****BUT I LOST IT *CRIES* ...and I found it. Phew.**

**Ok, and WITHOUT FURTHER ADO~ (that's a quote... which Bluu Inkblot would know xD) I present: the fourth chapter of Dear Weird Book! *cheers***

**LOOK HERE!!! IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT!  
What used to be Chapter 3 is now **_**Chapter 4**_**. And there is a NEW chapter 3. So please read and review! I was really amazed by how fast everyone reviewed my author's note x), please review the reposted chapters 3 and 4 as well! THANK YOU! YOU PEOPLE ARE THE BEST!**

* * *

Hello book!

Long time no see, er, write... I'm sooooo bored! The retarded sensei is droning on and on about some guy who lived very long ago. Something about the dead guy's wife turning into stone o.o? *YAWN*

o.O lots of weird stuff are going on 'coz no one wants to listen x). I hear snoring. Hmm. The window is open. I can feel a breeze, probably the only thing that's keeping me awake at the moment. And writing to (on) you, as well. You're a nice book *pats* even if you're weird. ONLY JOKING! ONLY JOKING! DON'T KILL ME~ *runs away* ...er why did I write that? For one thing, you're a book thus you can't respond. Also, that means you can't chase me around. And I can't run away anyway, I'm in the middle of class (not for long... ahahaha...)

This is so boring... eh? I think he's taught that part before... ugh. Retarded sensei with a non-existent memory. Mm, what a nice breeze... the window is still open. What kind of sensei would keep the window open on a day like this anyway? It's distracting people from the lesson... not like anyone pays attention anyway. I definitely don't. No point! ;D

The window is still open. And the breeze is still there. Tempting, eh? Be back in a few minutes...

...

Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm out! Whee~ That was nice. Must try to sit next to the window more often. It makes sneaking off much easier. *evil laugh* Okay that laugh was just... eww.

Dunno if I should go to the library, or look for more people training *coughspy!cough*. But right now I think I'll go get some ramen. And paint the Hokage monument! Yes of course, of course, I must paint it... Maybe not all orange, though.

I can paint the faces to look like the real people! Hmm... can't decide whether to paint Hokage-jiji's hair white or not. (He doesn't even have much hair now... muahahaha)

Anyway, write again later!  
Bye,  
Uzumaki Naruto

Hi I'm back!

Managed to get the paint I need. Let's see...  
Black √  
White √  
Yellow √

I still have some leftover paint from previous pranks for the eyes and etc. I'll paint the faces at midnight. Inu-san is on duty today, and he usually doesn't mind. As long as I don't paint his hair pink again, or orange like I almost did the other day. Eheheh... I still have the photos as blackmail material~ muahahaha... Ahem. Good thing I obtained the Anbu patrol schedule. Not going to tell you how!

Actually I might as well tell you. Since you can't tell anyone else. (unless they find this book. Oh dear. I must take good care of you then. Please feel lucky. Thank you!) I took it. From Hokage-jiji's desk ._. and memorized it while he was distracted with another prank~ ...Anyway! I digress. (yay new vocab! I feel accomplished. [not really])

I forgot to introduce Inu-san to you. He is an Anbu, and he wears a dog mask (hence he is _Inu_-san -.-). He is very nice to me! He took me out to eat a few times when he had time, and I found out that he LOVES eggplant! He keeps an eye on me when he can, to make sure I'm okay. He has silver hair, which is cool but makes it really hard for me to tell his age. I really want to know who he is, but Anbu can't reveal themselves. Sad. Inu-san seems quite young, though. He actually has a sense of humour and I remember quite a few times when he let me get away with my pranks. Which is why I chose to carry out the prank when he's on duty. In the future, maybe I can carry out a prank without even _Inu-san_ discovering me... that'd be SO fun.

While I wandered around randomly, I saw this HUGE house. It's more like a mansion.... no, it's as big as a clan compound! It is big! big! BIG! It was really cool. But the best part was the HUMONGOUS library. The sheer amount of scrolls is insane! (and the sheer amount of dust is gross. *sneezes* ah, my poor nose~) And these poor scrolls are just sitting there gathering dust. Such a waste. The poor scrolls, sitting there day after night after day, with no one to open them, no one to read them. No one will ever know of the vast amount of information they contain, So lonely! Aww...

I'm a very kind person you know! Very compassionate and understanding and generous! Thus I must rescue these poor scrolls from their misery. And of course I couldn't resist such valuable stuff! I nicked some basic ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu scrolls. Ninjutsu is damn awesome. Taijutsu is something I seriously need to learn more about. I know nothing except some street brawling stuff, which is 1. pathetic. 2. I'm too small in size (DAMN THE CHIBINESS ARGH). 3. it's pathetic - oh wait I've already said (wrote) that. As for genjutsu... well let's not go there.

I haven't explored the place properly yet, but it seems like a nice place. Lots of plants. I like plants! (None of my potted plants have died on me yet. I feel accomplished. Please agree. Thank you!) I wonder if I can find some info on Fuinjutsu. From what I've heard (which isn't much), it seems really complicated but I'm kind of interested anyway. Besides, I've always wanted explosive tags... BOOM. Ahahaha...

What?!? It's eleven ALREADY? I'd best get going then, bye!

Cackling evilly,  
Uzumaki Naruto-sama, Master Prankster

P.S. There really is a Master Prankster title! Honest! DATTEBAYO!  
...you really don't believe me, do you. How sad.

* * *

**I always tend to write better fics if I do the first draft, come back after a while and edit it. Which is part of the reason this took so long ._. I don't have a beta either, but I like editing (: I'd like to be a beta for an awesome fanfic author in the future *-* but I don't fulfill the requirements yet...  
Believe it or not, I was writing this on some paper during class (: and based part of this chapter after what was going on during class as well -.- I'm such a bad student~**

**This chapter is pure cheerfulness and hyper-ness. While I myself am feeling a bit depressed... but purposefully acting painfully cheerful. It always helps. Learnt it from Naruto. No point letting other people depress me. My life is my own, as is what I want to do with it. So there. YAY FOR NARUTOISM! x)**

**Random footnotes-of-sorts  
"Eheheh..." was meant to be an awkward/embarrassed and sheepish laugh.**

**"Ahahaha..." was meant to be an evil laugh xD**

**And yes, Inu-san is Kakashi. *expects fangirls* He's bored, that's why he lets Naruto get away with some pranks. Besides, they're funny. And Naruto's stealth can be **_**damn**_** good when he's pulling off a prank ^^  
Kakashi was just too cute to leave out of my darling fic *hugs***

**And I know the dattebayo was a bit weird. I have no choice~ the dub version - "BELIEVE IT!" - is INCREDIBLY LAME and JUST PLAIN WEIRD. == who even says that? Bleargh~~~  
Actually I think Naruto's dattebayo is quite cute (: so I just randomly put it in ._. *feels sad***

**I had a dilemma about what to put in this chapter. I didn't want this fic to move **_**too**_** quickly, otherwise it'd become lame ._. doing the timeline really helped (:**

**Any opinion on the use of ._. -.- :D xD ^^ and etc in the fic? Does it seem lame? Does it add to the childish effect (which is intended duh~)? Is it distracting? Comments are muchly appreciated as usual!**

**EDIT: Removed some of the emoticons. Sigh. Hope it's better now! (:**

_**RE-EDIT: Reworked this chapter so that it would fit in better, and posted it as the 4th chapter. Please vote in the poll! Thank you!!!**_

**POLL!!!**

**POLL #1:  
Who should know about what Naruto is learning? Keep in mind that I'm trying to make Naruto really independent. So having an adult to depend on is not exactly independence... The person can only find out about what Naruto's learning after a few years if you want (: So... who?**

**1. Sandaime  
2. Kakashi (AND TRAINS HIM!!! YAY!!! or not, depends on what you vote for! [SO PLEASE VOTE xD])  
3. Iruka (when he starts teaching Naruto)  
4. Someone who's around the same age as Naruto (aka most likely one of the Konoha 12. No OCs.)  
5. Some other person (please state who~)**

**I'm leaning towards choosing no one, or maybe Kakashi as he's an ANBU so of course he'd notice stuff. And since he's an ANBU he can't exactly stay around to look after Naruto, so he's still quite independent. He can also teach Naruto some stuff once in a while.**

**Another good choice would be Sandaime. He's the Hokage, and he has this crystal ball which he can use to check on Naruto, thus it's pretty likely he'll find out. Besides, he can supply Naruto with the required equipment (such as weapons, scrolls, etc.). But that's also a problem - what's the point of going to all the trouble of "borrowing" stuff if Naruto can just get it easily? Hmm. What do you think? You can vote for more than one option in this poll (eg. 1 and 2)**

**---**

**Poll #2:  
What should happen to Minato? (in case you don't know, he's the Yondaime Hokage, and Naruto's dad *-*) As you can see, he's obviously going to be included in this fic somehow but I have yet to decide on whether he is dead or alive... So... should Minato**

**1. Stay dead  
2. Come back to life (please choose when~)  
3. Be alive all this time, but left due to whatever reason (don't particularly like this idea, since it would mean he ABANDONED Naruto D: )  
4. Be a ghost (most probably only Naruto will be able to see him. Otherwise that'd be weird ._.)  
5. Come back to life TEMPORARILY or something like that (like in the manga... when Naruto was going to pull off the seal)**

**What do you think? I really want Minato ALIVE... hmm... but there's the Naruto being independent thing again. That's why I'm leaning toward 2 or 5, or even 4.**

**You can also vote for more than one of these options in this poll (eg. 4, then 2)**

**--**

**If you haven't read Konoha: Naruto's Playground by MegaB, then I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN READING! This is ****the most awesome Naruto fic ever!!!**** And it has ****2530**** reviews. Yes. That many. So you should go and read it ****NOW!!!**

**Ok, I'm tempted to make this a KakaNaru. Tempted. But! I can make this a friendship/family-ish relationship as well. Both are cute! Well? Should Kakashi and Naruto have a brotherly relationship? ^^**

**Please note that this was originally posted as Chapter 3! (refer to top A/N)  
I know I sound repetitive but a lot of people are confused by my most recent chapters D:**


	5. Of Coolness and Niceness?

**Sumary:  
_"Dear weird book, Hi! Sorry about the name, can't think of a good one for you yet." The Sandaime gives a young Naruto a diary. Wonder what he's going to do with it? Life has just gotten a lot more interesting. Pairings, if any, are yet undecided._**

**A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS! (:**

**I finally got down to finishing this. Chapter 6 may not be out by today, but I'll try! I was hoping to make this a double chapter Christmas special... D:**

**Anyway! Hope you like this chapter. Although I'm afraid the moods are a bit... fragmented? He's hyper, then he's digressing, then he's hyper again, and finally he's in this strange kind of "just happy" kind of mood.**

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HELLOOOOOOOOOOO BOOK!!!

Uzumaki Naruto would like to inform you that you are not cool.

Just joking. But! You are not _nearly_ as cool as the AWESOME BOOK THAT I JUST FINISHED READING!!!

Neither are you as cool as my latest masterpiece. I really wish I had a camera... Ah well. I'll go bug some of the Anbu, they usually photograph stuff like that - for patrol reports or for laughs, who knows?

Who am I kidding? It's _obviously_ for... BLACKMAIL!!! Bwahahaha! What? Not my fault those Anbu newbies don't understand what WET PAINT implies.

It implies multicoloured hair, mask and uniform if they don't stay far, far away. _Maaaaybe_ the paint balloon traps were a bit overboard, but oh well, it's all in the name of fun~!

Note on paint balloons: as the name implies, these are balloons filled with paint, and they burst upon impact with their targets: idiotic Anbu newbies. (What? You should listen to the veterans complain [coughbitchcough] about the newbies.) Or the random retarded Chuunin who actually thinks he can catch me. Anyway. The paint has to be diluted with water, though, as it is a bit too thick. Although I must admit that it doesn't work that well all the time, and making those are such a bother. The paint's freakishly sticky at the wrong times, and _any_ balloon filled with liquid, be it water, paint or ink, bursts rather easily. And splashes said liquid all over the place. Setting up paint balloons in traps bears considerable risk to the prankster (aka myself) as well. But I am such an experienced and accomplished (Ah! The accomplishments! They are most impressive, I assure you.) prankster that such tiny risks do not matter, yes?

Maybe I should use ink next time, it's not nearly as sticky... But I was pretty merciful this time - I used _water-based_ paint. One biiiig splash of water and everything's back to normal! We shall ignore the grumbling (bitching) Genin team that is unfortunate enough to be tasked with cleaning the colourful "little" puddles up. They don't dare to ask me to do that, who knows what damage I'll wreak? Lalala~ But I do help out sometimes... depending on who's cleaning up. Hmm.

Inu-san has never been tasked with cleanup. Actually, none of the Anbu - or any Jounin for that matter - have ever been tasked with the much-detested job that is cleanup. (And who would dare to ask the village's most lethal shinobi to do infuriatingly boring chores, anyway...) Chuunin are not often dumped with this job, either, as Chuunin are the ones that take turns to man the mission desk, and they can pull many strings to exact their revenge.

For example: sending those who offended them to hunt down Tora the cat. That crazy cat is quite famous, and I've heard more than one Genin team complaining (Bitching! I should just call it bitching!) about having to find it and bring it back... only for it to run away again. Seriously, do all D-ranked missions _suck_ so much? ...Damn. I think life as an Academy student is not that bad after all... at least I have pranks to keep me entertained.

On a random note: actually, there are worse missions than hunting Tora. These missions are _unfortunately_ C-ranked or even B-ranked. Which means that there will always be some extremely unlucky Chuunins and Jounins who will have to carry out these missions. No one, and I repeat _no one_ likes escorting high-and-mighty nobles. It's torture. Sometimes, I pull a few favours with Kotetsu-san and Izumo-san just to dump _certain people _with escort duty. My current sensei in the Academy (never bothered to remember his name) is on the top of that _certain people_ list. (Serves him right, muahahaha...) Jounins are lucky, as they usually do not need to do these missions unless under _certain circumstances_, such as if they happen to be taking a Genin team or if the Chuunins at the mission desk are not very fond of them...

Look how much I digress.

Anyway! It is most unfortunate that I have yet to obtain a photo of my _masterpiece_, which looked absolutely amazing, I swear! And Hokage-jiji's eye was twitching so hard due to the WHITE colour of his hair. Nihihihihi... Then it started raining, and the colours started mixing up! The most hilarious thing is that the rain stopped after barely ten seconds (Really weird weather! Or maybe Kami has a sense of humour too...) and thus the _dearrr_ Hokage Monument, which Konoha is **so** proud of, looked like someone took many cans of paint, arranged them in a lovely pyramid formation on the monument, then detonated a bomb on the cans containing wonderfully colourful paint.

Hmm, sounds like a good idea.

I have... digressed... again...

Here is what I am _supposed_ to be telling you about: THE TALE OF THE GUTSY NINJA!!!

It is a very good book, I tell you. A very good book!

Do you know what is the name of the main character in that book?

His name is Naruto.

That's my name, too.

And he never gave up. He never gave up on his beliefs, he never gave up on his comrades, he never gave up on _himself_.

I like that.

I like the idea of determination and never giving up. Because if people give up, then life is just _over_, you know. Battle is like that, too. If you give up, then your opponent has won. And just because your opponent has won does _not_ mean that he or she will spare you! Life has never been easy and I do not think it will ever be. Thus if I give up on life, then I have lost. Then again, never giving up is not just about not wanting to lose _to_ others. Because it is not the losing to _someone_ that is the worst, I think. The worst thing about giving up is failing _yourself_. Myself.

If I gave up trying to become _someone _in this world, then I will not be attending the ninja Academy right now. I will not be nicking scrolls from everywhere and anywhere to study. I will not be training myself so hard.

Hell, I don't know if I'd even be alive right now if I had given up!

I took some basic jutsu scrolls from here and there today. I am going to copy their contents into my blank scrolls, because unfortunately I need to put them back later. I have already finished one, and I will finish the rest by today. (Even though my hand feels like it's dying...)

It feels very..._ nice_ to have completed a task, you know? And it also feels really good when I think of how much I have already lived through. There is this... _accomplishment_ that I feel when I realize that I have not given up. And of course there is this in-your-face kind of feeling when I see that I can still make my life a good life when people are... not very fond of me. I like that. Really. I like the idea of being determined and not giving up on myself. It seems like a good way of life, because it makes everything just feel... I don't know... _nice?_

Does that make sense? Heh.

Off to take a ramen break,  
Naruto (:

P.S. I sure am in a weird mood today. I blame you... hahaha...

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**Was it nice? (: Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**AND I MOSTE SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR THE TERRIBLE DELAY. T__T**

**School's starting next month. I see stress ahead...**

**~rakku~**

**P.S. Do review, I'm feeling deprived...**

**Quote from the Sherlock Holmes movie:  
Watson: Holmes, does your depravity know no bounds?  
Holmes: No.**

**xDDDDD has anyone watched that movie? It's AWESOME! 8DD**


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